Press Panini If Hungry

I hereby dedicate my first post in 5 months to, PANINI! With that, I would also like to announce my decision to become a professional panini maker. And by professional, I mean simply awesome because I can’t be dealing with DHEC. I already have my Mom (The Clean Queen) to deal with during visits throughout the year. But I shall also dedicate this post to her, since she gave me my very own panini press for Christmas! What a gal, that Loretta Bruschetta.

Ever since I gently undressed my panino press and popped some bubble wrap in excitement and anticipation last week, I feel like I have awakened a beast. A very hungry beast who loves tasty stuff in between bread pressed and toasted. All I want to do is make panini like woah.

My first panino was smoked gouda, bacon, honey mustard and tomato. Next was smashed white beans with cumin, bacon again, and avocado. Today’s was definitely the best yet, as confirmed by my partner. (She also says I can make anything into a delicious panini, but I beg to differ as I could think of some nastiness that would not taste good. Belly button lint being one of them.) The masterpiece was layered as follows: Heinz Ketchup, leftover meatloaf, collards, onions, and mayo. It was served with sweet potato fries w/ siracha-ketchup-mayo dipping sauce and jalapeno pickles. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.

Working from home just got better.

Ahhhh! The Immaculate Cookie Monster!

I’m usually weary of frozen cookie dough, as I prefer baking cookies the homemade way with flour everywhere, even under my nose looking like I just partied in Miami. But one day, I picked up a package of Immaculate Baking Company’s frozen cookies. First, it was like I received a pony because there were 24 cookies! Helluva lot better than 12 cookies like the other wise guys. Also, they are cheaper. Double the cookies for less? Obviously, I picked up not one, but two packages.

I could be cliche and say I stole all the cookies from the cookie jar. Wah, wah, wah. But let’s be serious. The cookies wouldn’t even have a chance to be put into the cookie jar because I’d eat them all. They are perfectly sized and absolutely delicious. So delicious, I tend to eat 5 in less than 2 minutes and then have my partner strap me down so I don’t eat hers. But she usually lets me eat her last one anyway. Must be the evil, uncomfortable stare I give her.

Immaculate Cookies are all natural with no trans fat or artificial ingredients and are made with organic flour and sugar, which basically allows you to tell yourself it’s okay to scarf them down like its the end of the world. There are only 3.5 grams of fat and 80 calories per cookie, which makes you feel good as you indulge, but come on, who eats one cookie? Cookies are the domestic version of crack.

May I suggest the Chocolate Chunk, Triple Chocolate, or Peanut Butter Milk Chocolate Chip? Those are the ones I tried so far, but I hope to cross every flavor off my bucket list. You can find them in stores around the country, or you can buy them online. Visit their website for more deats.

Get the Effen Vodka

It’s very rare that I am completely sold on a product solely on its name before trying it. So when I discovered EFFEN Vodka, naturally I fell in love. Finally, there is a vodka brand that won’t make you sound like a belligerent fool when you shout, “Ma! The Meatloaf and the Effen Vodka!” It’s a beautiful thing.

Besides the fact that you can have fun playing with the name, it’s a very smooth and tasty vodka. There are a few flavors like plain, Black Cherry, and Dutch Raspberry, but I picked up a bottle of the Cucumber because I was in the mood for some Effen mojitos, which might I add, was quite good. However, the real winner was an Effen Bloody! Duh. I made it with Effen, Zing Zang, and crushed up some basil as well. It was delicious and refreshing!

It’s about $24.99 a bottle, which isn’t as expensive as I thought it would be, unless you’re used to treating yourself to a nice bottle of Burnett’s or Gordon’s vodka. Check out their website for more information, and while you’re at it, also view Drink Smart, so you don’t follow in Lindsay Lohan’s footsteps.

www.effenvodka.com
www.drinksmart.com

Eat yo’ Beanitos

If you know a thing or two about me, it’s that I love chips. I eat them so much, people tell me I have a chip on my shoulder, which I usually do in the form of a crumb. So when I got word that my friend April (whom I’ve never met, but I know we would THROW IT DOWN) aka @beanitosapril, was working for a new chip company called Beanitos, I asked her to spill the beans. Turns out, they are made with whole beans and not a single kernel of corn. I obviously had to stick my head in a bag. Lo and behold, a few days later, they arrived at my doorstep.

As usual, my head was too big to fit in the bag and I had to eat them with my hands. Now if you are a normal human being, you might think that since they’re made from beans, you will be blowing. it. up. Let me tell you something. If there is anyone that would, it’d be me. It’s been more than few hours since I’ve enjoyed a bag, and I haven’t broken wind once. It’s actually impressive.

That’s not the only and major benefit. There are plenty more. Like the fact that they are hands in the air, fist pumping delicious. I just found my new best friend. They have flavors like Chipolte BBQ and Cheddar and of course, your good ole regular black bean chip. Then there are the health benefits like:

1. They won’t make you a fat cow. As I said earlier, Beanitos are 100% Corn Free. Since corn is fed to cows to fatten them up, you don’t have to be Jenny Craig to see the link between corn and obesity in humans too.

2. 10 chips = 5 grams of fiber. It seemed appropriate to make this one #2. Besides the obvious, fiber makes you feel full, so you’ll be able to put down the bag.

3. They are gluten free, which makes a lot of people happy as they shoot Beanitos crumbs out of their mouth while screaming and celebrating for being able to eat yummy chips.

4. They have good protein. And who doesn’t love protein?

5. Beanitos are non-GMO, so you won’t find any genetically modified ingredients in their chips. Only the good, pure stuff. Better luck growing a 3rd eye somewhere else.

Beanitos taste great with salsa, guacamole, or even as a base with some loaded local ingredients for nachos. You could eat them naked as a snack, but I’m a sucker for dippin’. Served with a beer optional, but highly recommended.

Follow Beanitos on Facebook and Twitter.
Hit up @beanitosapril and tell her I said hello. She rocks.

Now go get you some!

Sweeteeth Chocolate Melts My Heart

Here lies a Sweeteeth chocolate bar wrapper. I was going to take a snapshot of the bar itself before it was consumed, but like that was actually going to happen. It was staring at me and making me feel uncomfortable, so I did what any girl would do faced with the situation. I ATE IT. Actually, let me rephrase that. I MADE LOVE TO IT.

This is Sweeteeth’s Sea is for Caramel bar. From the looks of the oozing caramel, you can imagine it’s insanely delicious and orgasmic. Which it is, but as much as you want to savour the experience and light some candles, you don’t have a lot of time to eat it as the caramel leaks quite quickly. But I’d rather have it that way than be ripped off with barely any caramel or the caramel that is a stage 5 teeth clinger. To top it off, the bar is made with 62% dark chocolate and is sprinkled with sea salt. YUM.

In addition to the sea salt and caramel bar, Sweeteeth experiments and does a fantastic job at creating amazing and addictive handcrafted chocolates with all natural ingredients. There’s Peanut Butter and Chipotle and Cinnapsis (chewy apple and candied pecans in milk chocolate) chocolate bars and also bon bons with crazy infusions like, jalapeno & pineapple white chocolate, parmesan & sweet basil white chocolate, and strawberry & red wine dark chocolate. They are more on the expensive side, but trust me, the quality and flavors are worth it. You can shop locally in some states, or you can buy Sweeteeth online. Go ahead, eat your heart out.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pride

So this is what’s in the mall these days for kids to play with? Pay two quarters, and you can join in!

Wikipedia says, “The team’s bad boy, Raphael has an aggressive nature and seldom hesitates to throw the first punch….” Instead, he likes to catch.

Ballroom Jeans Make Room for the Boys

You know this infamous scene in Dumb and Dumber? We never saw a full body shot of the guy from the front, but from the butt view, you know those were some tight ass jeans.

We’ve all seen them before. They ran rampant in the 90s, but even today, some men seem to be forced to wear really tight jeans, especially workmen. At least, I’d like to think they are being forced, because there’s not much room for the jewels to breathe, so why would they want to put themselves through that? If they live in West Hollywood, then okay, I can understand. Anyone else, no.

So for all those hardworking men or motorcyclists having to squat, sit and basically just move, there’s Ballroom Jeans. And they give men just that. The room. Now, of course, I don’t personally know this considering I’m a female, but @fatforrestruns on Twitter suggested I check them out and write about them. Naturally, I was sold on the name and took his advice. So since I can’t vouch, here is a video done by Duluth Trading Company, the manufacturer of Ballroom Jeans. It’s funny and sums it up perfectly. I’m glad they don’t give a rear view. I’d imagine there would be some serious plumber.