Giuliani Fails Epically as “America’s Mayor”

According to the Associated Press, former New York City Mayor and Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, stated on ABC’s Good Morning America that the United States did not experience any terror attacks under President George Bush’s leadership.


Besides the terror attack on his own city on September 11th, Straight Twisted has found a ten other acts of terror against the United States that Giuliani forgot to mention.

10. Crocs invading college campuses one pair at a time
9. the succession of the fictional country, Petoria, from the United States
8. the removal of fun from daytime TV by replacing Bob Barker with Drew Carey on The Price is Right
7. the popped collar starting a new fashion trend called the “Douchebag” look
6. Oprah gifting Dr. Phil with his own show
5. laws allowing the Westboro Baptist Church to protest the funerals of soldiers killed in duty
4. the writers of the “unscripted” reality shows Laguna Beach and The Hills for brainwashing our youth
3. Nickelback’s repeated attack of the Billboard Charts
2. the successful fertilization of Kate Gosellin’s eggs and the reality show that ensued
1. Astronomers attack on the childhood of our generation by removing Pluto as a planet

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