Monthly Archives: April 2010

Minute Maid, Animals, and You

Minute Maid really seems to enjoy using animals in their commercials. They love them so much, that they are either dead or are going to die. At least in one, the rabbit is resuscitated and comes back to life. However, no one from Baywatch later saved the shark that swallowed Minute Maid’s plastic bottle in this one…

Animals in commercials are always fun to watch. Minute Maid’s commercial with the bunny is hilarious. It gives me a good chuckle every time I watch it. But the shark is a tough one to laugh about, especially since in reality, plastic bottles pollute the ocean and kill species when consumed. Granted the guy did say, “who’s going to get the empties?” But those kids were probably loaded, so who knows if they would have actually scooped them up. All I know is, Minute Maid’s shark commercial walks a fine line and is either entertaining or environmentally offensive. What do you think?

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Filed under Hug a Tree, Jordan Sullivan, Straight Twisted, Think

Happy Earth Day Kids!

Happy Earth Day to you! Don’t worry about blowing out candles. Let the wind take care of it. Since we’ve given you a piece of our green minds throughout Earth Month, we’d rather you take the time to reflect on what we’ve been plummeting into your brain. So before I introduce the fabulous What is Missing? website that launched today, let’s take a moment to make some resolutions.

You agree to:

1. Take yourself away from it all and enjoy the peace Mother Nature provides.
2. Get off your ass and walk or ride your bike more.
3. Collect all the beer bottles you see and make a wall out of them.
4. Consider yourself trash the next time you walk by some and don’t pick it up.
5. Sit under, climb, and/or hug a tree.
6. Have a séance and ask Shel Silverstein what he thinks of deforestation.
7. Go reusable or go home and grab your reusable bag that you forgot.
8. Put down the Wii and play real sports.
9. Save octopuses and trees by using less ink and paper.
10. Listen to nature, not your iPod or your friend yakking about who cares what on the phone.
11. Kidnap children and make them play outside.
12. Monitor all tree trimmers and make sure they make trees look good enough for prom.
13. Turn yourself on, but turn off the lights.
14. Go barefoot and enjoy the grass or sand.
15. Change/clean the air filters in your house to make your home more energy efficient.
16. Open your windows! If you get cold, grab a hoodie. Hot? Get naked.
17. Use a clothesline and hang your clothes to dry.
18. Limit your shower time. You’ll still be clean, don’t worry.
19. Listen to John Denver and plant a tree to clear the air.
20. Go all natural and ditch the blow dryer and hair spray. You’re still beautiful.
21. Say no to plastic utensils, napkins and thousands of ketchup packets restaurants give you. You have them at home remember?
22. Screw ecstasy. Roll on grass.

Got it? Good. Now for the grand finale. I’ve been looking forward to the unveiling of What is Missing? all month after mentioning it in an earlier post. Lo and behold, here it is. Please, please, please, take the time to browse the site. Rarely do things make us stop and think in the midst of our hustle and bustle lives. We’re always on the go and have the attention span of a seahorse. What is Missing? needs your attention. It’s one of the most badass, fascinating websites I have seen. I can’t explain it. Check it out for yourself. Thank you and Happy 40th Earth Day! You be good to Mother Nature now, yah hear?

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Filed under Hug a Tree, Jordan Sullivan, Straight Twisted, Think

Respect your elders

You may not be a tree hugger, but you can definitely appreciate these big boys. Being the huge Avatar fan I am, I would consider them on the scale of the Hometrees that the Na’vi clan lived in on Pandora. Okay, now I feel like a nerd after that statement, but if anyone ever came at these trees with a chainsaw, I think the movie’s epic battle scene might actually happen on Earth. It may not include six-legged horses and pterodactyl looking animals attacking, but I think there would be some hardcore scrapping going on. Check out some of the oldest and most amazing trees on our planet.

Meet Methuselah. At over 4,800 years old, this bristlecone pine is located in the White Mountains in California. This tree is so important, that its location is actually kept a secret. Just looking at its trunk gets me all Straight Twisted.

Even though it’s the largest bald cyprus tree in the US, “The Senator” doesn’t get to vote. It used to be 40 feet taller, but a hurricane blew its top off in 1925.

Olives are one of two foods I don’t eat. Even the smell makes me gag. Order a dirty martini from me and it will come with a side of vomit. Olive trees on the other hand are fascinating. They are drought, disease, and fire resistant. Why do they have to make such a disgusting little food? This one, located on the island of Crete is over 3,000 years old.

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Filed under Awesome, Totally Awesome, Dustin Akers, Hug a Tree, Straight Twisted

What would Shel Silverstein think?

Growing up, my brother and I spent much of our time playing outside. Whether it was building forts in the woods or climbing trees. Trees were always an escape for us, especially from the cars we threw water balloons and acorns at for thrills. Those were my best and most favorite childhood memories, along with reading The Giving Tree, instilling in me a deep love and respect for trees. Unless you’re like Dustin and live in a bubble, you’ve read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein too.

The Giving Tree was published in 1964, a time when sitting underneath the shade of a tree was welcomed entertainment for all. You didn’t need anything else. Well maybe some acid and someone to go steady with so you could make out and dance around a tree. But things are different these days aren’t they? Kids don’t play outside anymore; they have Wii, internet, and text. People trade in real nature for sounds of nature. Most importantly, deforestation continues to be a growing issue as 90 acres of rainforest are carelessly destroyed every minute.

Maybe Shel was warning us of the future. At one point he writes, “I am sorry”, sighed the tree. “I wish that I could give you something, but I have nothing left.” We are poisoned with an insatiable desire to push the limits of our existence and see what we can develop and achieve. So what happens when trees really don’t have anything left to give? Look what has been cleared away in the last 300 years. Hell, in the last 20 years, I’ve seen areas once lush with trees, now neighborhoods and shopping centers. So who’s to say what’s going to be left in the next 100 years? Nothing is guaranteed. Anything can change. So I can’t help but wonder, what would Shel Silverstein think?

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Filed under Hug a Tree, Jordan Sullivan, Straight Twisted, Think

Listen up bag boy, plastic is not okay

There’s nothing that irks me more than when I go to the grocery store and baggers rhetorically ask in an encouraging tone, “Is plastic alright for you?” They are the reason why people are programmed to using plastic bags. What I really want to do is grab a plastic bag, put it over their head, gently suffocate them and ask them if plastic is okay. Maybe their failure to breathe will open their mouths to ask a different question like, “Would you like to switch to reusable bags today?”

Plastic bags seem to lie in grocery stores hands. Stores should take a more proactive approach and help Americans make the switch by partnering with a company like ECOBAGS and sell reusable bags at the checkout counter. But trendy, simple reusable bags. Not bags with big fat logos printed on them like I discussed earlier this year. That way, we can use reusable bags everywhere we go, and lessen the amount of plastic bags thrown away each year, which for us is roughly 92 billion. Those bags either end up in the dump or polluting our environment, causing the Grim Reaper to visit 100,000 marine animals and 1 million mammals and birds each year.

Oddly enough, whenever I see plastic bags adorning the environment like ornaments, it reminds me of the scene from American Beauty, where Ricky Fitts says the plastic bag dancing in the wind is the most beautiful thing he has ever filmed. One of my favorite movies and a wonderful scene, but I guess the kid didn’t get out enough to see sunsets or walk through the forest to see more beautiful things than polyethylene. Don’t be like Ricky. Stop bags from floating in the air. Recycle them at your local grocery store or pick up some ECOBAGS today.

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You call this a trim???

If trees could talk, I think they would be pretty pissed off with the style tree trimmers give them. Instead of pruning and trimming trees properly, they carelessly butcher trees to make room for power lines. I’m no rocket scientist, but I would bet my marbles there’s a better way to maintain the majesty of a tree without destroying it. It’s like going to the hair salon and instead of getting a nice weave, someone shaves straight down the middle of your head. Not cool man. As we continue to celebrate Earth Month, we need better tree trimmers a.k.a arborists so we can really rock it out.

Arborists are supposed to come up with appropriate solutions to maintain the aesthetics, health, and overall structure of trees. Instead, some trees like these poor fellas, had someone gut them rather than selectively choose which branches to remove. Of course, their counterargument is that trees will be more dangerous during a storm if they interfere with the electrical lines. When in fact, their poor job makes trees MORE likely to break off during a storm because they’ve killed or wounded parts of it, weakening it’s structure. It’s baloney. Where’s Edward Scissorhands when you need him? He’d show them a thing or two.

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Is your box green?

Man I love pizza…preferably pepperoni, mushroom, and onion, but I’ll pretty much try anything. Not that I need to add more pizza to my diet, but this innovative pizza box might just make that happen. I don’t know why someone hadn’t already invented this, but I’m glad they did. Four “plates” won’t be necessary though because my gluttonous side comes out with pizza and I usually don’t share. Unless it’s with this Straight Twisted chick!

Mother nature sure will feel more comfortable when those paper plates and aluminum foil don’t hit the landfill. Most town’s recycle cardboard anyway, so this just makes it easier for you!

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Filed under Awesome, Totally Awesome, Design, Dustin Akers, Hug a Tree, Innovation, Straight Twisted