Bon Bon Bonanza

I’m not one to pass up an adventure, especially when it is completely and utterly ridiculous. Yesterday, my friend Sunny asked me if I ever had a bon bon. I had no clue what she was talking about. At first I imagined a bon bon to be a type of manicure given by the infamous Bon Qui Qui. Nope. A bon bon is a type of chocolate. Given her insatiable curiosity for the world, she thought we, along with another bon bon virgin, Johnna, should embark on an adventure to find them since we never had or heard of them before. Mind you, we’re all located in 3 different cities. Sunny’s in Myrtle Beach, Johnna lives in Kansas City, and I take up space in Charleston. 3 chocolate lovers. 3 cities. 1 mission; tear down doors, empty kids’ pockets, and frisk old ladies until someone hands you a bon bon.

So the search begins…

You can keep your bon bons too, cause I could use some change…

Once again, pennies didn’t save the day. After digging around in my car and munching on month old fallen food, I found a dime. 8 minutes to find a bon bon. I’ll make it quick.

Stop 1. Walk in. Try to focus. Smells delicious. I ask a young lady if they have bon bons. She points me to a barrel full of these.


Stop 2. Walk in. Lots of pralines and tourists. Say excuse me. See more of those stupid strawberry bon bons. Ask young man. He says, “I don’t know”. Refers me to manager. He says, “Uuuuuuuuuuuuum, no.”


Stop 3. Annoyed. Walk in. Sweating. Head straight for counter. “You got bon bons?” She says, “I’ve heard of them, but I have no idea what they are.” Thanks for nothing.


Asked pirate where to find bon bons. He stood there like a statue. No answer. 8 minutes has long since been up. Don’t want a parking ticket. I’m over it. Mission aborted.

Day 2/Round 2

Now I’m not one to give up. After speaking with Johnna and Sunny about their successful bon bon experiences, I was determined to tear up some bon bons and smear chocolate all over my face. So I did a little research and discovered a higher end chocolate shop called Christophe Artisan Chocolatier-Patissier located downtown on King Street. So off I go.

If I don’t find some bon bons, someone is gonna get it…

I’m no chicken and I crossed the road.

Lo and behold, I arrived to the place that would save my sanity. Denying a woman of her chocolate is never a good thing. I was delightfully greeted by Nancy, who consoled me as I told her about my troubling venture to find bon bons. She quickly calmed all fears that I would once again walk out a failure. I took one look at the case, and knew she was right.


A bon bon is simply a type of chocolate with some goodness inside.

I treated myself to 5 bon bons. There should have been a sign on the door that said “Warning: DO NOT EAT 5 BON BONS IN 5 MINUTES.” Yikes. My favorite was the Caramel Sea Salt, pictured in my mouth below. I would have taken pictures of the other ones, but after practically having an orgasm, I didn’t want to waste any more time and decided to devour the rest.

Welcome home bon bon. Mission accomplished.

Watch Sunny’s ghetto fabulous video of her bon bon mission with music by 50 Cent

Watch Johnna’s video of her bon bon mission during her visit to the famous Elbow Chocolates.



Filed under Awesome, Totally Awesome, Jordan Sullivan, Straight Twisted

8 responses to “Bon Bon Bonanza

  1. Hahahahahaha, Emerson, this is excellent. So funny.

  2. Brilliant! You may just get the blue ribbon, my dear.

  3. Thanks, ladies. Your videos are awesome. Let’s do this again sometime.

  4. Loretta Sullivan

    Fantastic! I almost wanted to fast forward to the end. The suspense was killing me! I refrained, and I’m glad you did too – because I expected to see chocolate smeared all over your face. hahahahah.

  5. Jacob

    You ladies are hilarious!!! I can’t wait for the next mission….do you take suggestions???

  6. i just noticed that my bon bon video was viewed 64 times on July 8th, thanks to you. 😉 thanks jordan.

  7. Yay! Those 64 people will never be the same.

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